I realised something on the drive back from the country recently. My feelings for you are conflict with each other. You are both a source of anxiety but also a source of feeling connected with loved ones.
You can be a tool for me to sort through my stress in logical manner by allocating to-do tasks through productivity apps. You allow me to take, edit and post photos. You let me pretend that I can catch ’em all.
But sometimes, with every notification, you can cause overwhelming feelings of dread. Of having to be on call 24/7.
In short, I have a love-hate relationship with you.
But my roadtrip into the country, exploring those territories where you were banned or were rendered useless, made me think that maybe I should detox from you more often. Maybe I need to limit my access to the Internet so that I’m not overwhelmed by conflicting emotions.
Maybe I’ll just go for more walks along nature and turn you off for a while.